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Here lies Steven. "I told you it wasn't a rash!"
I like this one:Here lies BillThe father of 9He woulda had moreBut didn't have time
and you could go for a great reference"Here lies Dave Lister""Died 181""Choking to death while trying to remove a bra off with his teeth"
"Here I sit, broken-hearted, came to shit, instead I died."
Departed? The "instead I crapped out" line could be Roehm's reply.